Never The Same

Hello, friends. Since the last few posts have been somewhat humorous and all about our daily lives, I thought I would share something a little more serious. Actually, it’s been on my heart these last few weeks, but it’s not always easy to let others see this side of me. Nevertheless, I feel like the Lord is leading me to share this whether or not anyone reads it.

Just recently, I heard a song by David Crowder for the first time. It’s called “The Glory of it All” and it has quickly become one of my favorite songs. Here are the lyrics:

At the start He was there
He was there
In the end He'll be there
He'll be there
And after all our hands have wrought
He forgives

Oh the glory of it all Is He came here
For the rescue of us all
That we may live
For the glory of it all
Oh, the glory of it all

All is lost
Find Him there
Find Him there
After night
Dawn is there
Dawn is there
And after all
Falls apart
He repairs
He repairs

Oh the glory of it all
Is He came here
For the rescue of us all
That we may live
For the glory of it all
Oh, the glory of it all
Oh, He is there
With redemption from the fall
That we may live
For the glory of it all
Oh, the glory of it all

My favorite phrase in this song is actually not in the lyrics I looked up. Toward the end, he sings,

Things will never be the same,
We will never be the same.

If you read through the song then you already know that it is about God sending His Son to rescue us from sin and eternal separation from Him. All we have to do is accept this gift. With that said, let me tell you about the moment my life changed forever.

While doing my Beth Moore Bible study one day, I came across a question that asked,

When did your relationship with Christ begin? (I’m pretty sure I’m paraphrasing)

Immediately the date came to my mind…September 4, 1988. And then it hit me. I’ve been a Christian for 20 years! My dad had just recently been saved and my mom had rededicated her life to the Lord. Both of my parents began to talk to Brittany and I about what it meant to be a Christian. Not long after that, we asked Jesus to come into our hearts and be the Lord of our lives. My dad baptized us and we began our journey with Jesus. There were no fireworks or audible voices from Heaven. I didn’t experience any major turns from drugs or excessive drinking. There was just a child-like faith along with a desire to know this Savior that our parents were talking about. Even though I understood what it meant to be a Christian and the need for Him in my life, I had no idea that things would never be the same. I would never be the same.

My family and I became regular attendees of church and Sunday school. In addition, Brittany and I attended a private Christian school. I was surrounded by constant teaching and conversations about Christ, and it wasn’t long before some of the wonder and excitement of being a Christian wore off.

If I had to pinpoint a time in my life in which Jesus became real to me and my relationship with him began to grow, it would be my senior year in high school. Don’t get me wrong. He had always been there. I just wasn’t looking for Him in my daily life. But anyway. Back to my senior year. Everything was changing and my world was about to be drastically different with the start of college. I was overwhelmed by all of these unknowns and the insecurities that I carried around with me like multiple pieces of luggage on a long trip. Little did I know that God was orchestrating details and events in a way that would change my life. I began to put Him first and seek His will for my life. That year, the Lord brought Luke into my life and I have never been the same.

College was an amazing experience. Some of my best friends were made in Tulsa and Waco. Plus, I continued to date the love of my life. At the end of those four years, I realized that God had richly blessed me with priceless memories. Again, my world was about to change, and there were many unknowns to face. But as I sat in my apartment on graduation day, I cried because I knew that as a result of what He had given me I would never be the same.

Two weeks later, I married Luke and we began our life together. Talk about change. I had never lived with a boy, and let’s be honest, sometimes they’re just gross. We faced many challenges and hard decisions that first year, but there was never a doubt in my mind that God had placed this man in my life until “death do us part.” God gave me my perfect match. Someone that brings out the best in me and encourages me to improve on the things that the Lord reveals in my life. Our marriage has been one of the best things that has happened to me. He is an excellent example of how Christ sees His bride, the church, and because of the blessing he is in my life, I will never be the same.

Fast forward a few years to the morning we found out I was pregnant. We were shocked and very surprised. Our lives were about to change…in a BIG way. To say that I was overwhelmed and did not feel ready would be the understatement of the year. One night as I sat and worried about the future, the Lord whispered to my heart, in the form of James 1:17, that this little boy would be a gift to us. Needless to say, I clung to that verse through all the discomforts and fears that my pregnancy brought. I was not one of those people that just loved being pregnant so I was really looking forward to getting to the “gift” part of this promise! On July 17, 2007, I met our son. I took one look at him and knew that I would never be the same.

Austin has opened my eyes to the enormous sacrifice that God made for us. I cannot imagine what I would do if something happened to him, and I definitely would not give his life to save someone else. Sorry, guys. But that’s exactly what God did. Because He loved us so much, He sent His only Son to die so that we could live with Him forever. We don’t even have to work for our salvation. We simply have to make a choice to believe that He died for us and make a commitment to live for Him.

So far the path I walk with Him has been littered with regret, disappointment, sadness, and frustration. I know that we will have trouble in this life, but I am so thankful that He has given me moments and memories along the way that I treasure in my heart. I do not deserve these blessings, and I am just so humbled that He would love me enough to give me more than I could ask or imagine!

Because of Him, I will never be the same!