this too shall pass

I would love to tell you that I'll get better about blogging more regularly, but that would be a lie. And if I'm gonna put my son in time out for lying, then I better not do it either.

Just sayin'...

Life is good here at The Keiffer House. Despite fighting head colds and allergies, I'd say we're enjoying the fact that life has slowed down a little since the holidays. Not being able to travel will force you to do that, you know. Now if we could just get Austin's new room and Brooke's first {or is it her second??} room finished, I would feel like we're ready for baby #2.

I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to see baby stuff around our house again. I guess I really had forgotten how tiny Austin was at one time. In fact, I went through some of his old, old clothes and was amazed and how easily the memories associated with each little outfit came flooding back. Time flies and before you know it, you're registering your first born for pre-school. I can't even think about it or I'll have a meltdown that involves the Ugly Cry. And no one, I mean NO ONE, looks good doing The Ugly Cry.

 I'm just so thankful for my little guy! So here's another letter telling him just that.

Dear Austin:

It hit me the other day that in 2 months, it won't just be the three of us anymore. While I can't wait to meet our sweet baby Brooke, part of me is a little sad to close this chapter of you and me.

It doesn't seem possible that three years could go by so fast! It seems like just yesterday, we were making our first trip to Target together. I was so nervous about how it would go, but you slept through the whole adventure. That's ok. Since then, you've developed an appreciation for the Dollar Spot that would make any mom proud!

I will never forget the moment that I truly became your mom. We were at the doctor and the nurse had to prick your heel to take some blood. You were crying. I was crying. Thank goodness the nurse didn't cry! I knew in that moment that I would do anything for you. I knew that for better or worse, a piece of me would always be tied to you. When you rejoice, I will rejoice with you. When you weep, I will weep with you.

In just a couple of short months, our world and family will change, but one thing will remain the same and that is the depth of your daddy and my love for you! You are everything we never imagined God would give us. Everything about you brings us such joy and laughter. You really are the gift that God promised you would be.

I love that I can see glimpses of other family members in you. It makes me feel closer to those that are far away. I love the way you make up songs about whatever is on your mind. It reminds me so much of the days that your Aunt Brittany would sing her "original" songs. She still has a song in her heart and I hope you always will too. I love your sweet spirit and tender heart. They bring a smile to my face because they remind me of your Grammy and Great-Granny. I love that you have a strong sense of right and wrong. You are such a rule follower and that definitely comes from your Aunt Claire and Gigi. Your joy and zest for life is the very picture of your Papa B. You entertain us like your Uncle Josh, and you love to talk to Jesus just like your Uncle Jon, Uncle Jared and Pops. You have a very determined spirit when trying to do new things and that reminds me of your Aunt Lindsay.

But more than anything, I love seeing glimpses of your Daddy in you. You are patient and forgiving just like he is. You are an observer and hardly miss a thing, which means you are always asking questions. You're an early riser. That is definitely a trait you get from your Daddy. You are loyal to your family and love unconditionally. These are perhaps the character qualities I love most about your Daddy, and it brings my heart great joy to see them in you. The two of you are buddies. I pray you never stop wanting to be just like your daddy because he is the best example here on earth of your Heavenly Daddy.

And speaking of your Heavenly Father, I pray that you will accept Him as your Savior at an early age. My desire for you is that you would come to know Him intimately and seek to glorify and please Him daily. I pray that as you face the troubles of this life, that you will remember that you are more than a conquerer because He has already won the victory! He loves you more than we ever could. As deep as our love is for you, it is still a poor picture of how wide and how deep God's love is for you. 

These last three years have been some of the best of my life. You are a daily reminder that life is full of seasons and all too quickly "this too shall pass." Thank you for being patient with us as we try to do this parenting thing the best we can. You are precious to us and one of our greatest treasures! We love doing life with you, but more importantly, we love you.

Love:
Mommy


Proverbs 24:3-4

By wisdom a house is built,

and through understanding it is established;
through knowledge its rooms are filled
with rare and beautiful treasures.

into every life...

...a little rain must fall.

It's hard for me to believe that 2010 is over. In some ways, I'm sad but in others I'm relieved.

This time last year, we were in Dallas at the Cottonbowl. Austin was only 2 and my sister and her husband lived just a few hours away. Luke and I had no idea when God would add to our family nor did we have any idea what was in store for our families.

Looking back at the last year, I'm very aware of the fact that 2010 was full of more changes than I anticipated or even realized at the time. Now, if you've known me for any length of time, then you know that change and I get along about as well as Tom and Jerry. Unfortunately, change is a part of life and God is constantly teaching me how to accept it gracefully.

If you're wondering how that's going, let's just say I'm a work in progress.

At the beginning of this year, life was a little more carefree. A little easier to take for granted. Definitely a little less fragile.

I'll be the first to tell you that Luke and I are blessed beyond what we deserve. Sometimes I feel like our lives are too good to be true. I admit that there are times I find myself expecting God to take it all away the next day.

And then I fearfully obsess over little things and nearly drive Luke completely insane. Please tell me you do the same from time to time. If not, then just lie.

If there's one thing God has used the circumstances of this year- good and bad- to teach me, it's that I'm not, nor have I ever been, in control. What did that feel like coming out of my mouth?

Like vinegar.

Contrary to the belief of those of us that live in South Texas, rain will come. The unexpected will happen. Sisters will move far away. Situations will arise that force you to trust the only One you know to be in control.

For some reason, this Christmas didn't feel quite as magical and wonderous as it usually does. Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones, but I definitely felt a little weighed down by the stress and changes of the last year. As I was inviting the Lord to my pity party, He gently reminded me of this:

When the rains come, growth happens. When the troubles of this world knock us to our knees, we come face to face with a God who has not forgotten, but loves us enough to let the refining happen.

And once the storms have passed, we appreciate the sun and carefree moments so much more.

Let us acknowledge the LORD; let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth.

Hosea 6:3

He has promised...

I know. It's been forever since I've blogged. I'm blaming it on the pregnancy, which my mom will claim is my fifth time to pull the Pregnant Card. To which I say, it's actually the third and compared to some women, I'd say I'm doing pretty good at not being "that pregnant girl!"

It's good to have moms that keep your reality in check, isn't it? My mom is so good, she can give me a look...or complete silence...and I know EXACTLY what she's thinking! It's a blessing and a curse, really. I hope to master that talent someday.

But I digress.

Luke and I went through some of my "keepsake boxes" yesterday. And by boxes, I mean four or five MOVING boxes. It's funny what you deem Keepsake Worthy when you're in elementary, middle, and high school. And by funny, I mean sad and pathetic. Can someone just praise Him with me right now that I'm not the girl I used to be back then?! I won't give details, but what I will tell you is that somewhere along the way I thought it would be a good idea to keep my diary...

And then let Luke read it...

I'm not saying that someone slipped something in my drink at lunch to make me think that was a good idea....I'm just sayin' it's possible.

As I sat there going through hundreds of notes from friends, birthday cards, and pictures...OH THE PICTURES!...I realized that Keepsake Boxes are really only good for one thing besides complete and total embarassment.

Reflection.

From the moment we found out there was going to be a Keiffer #4 in our not so distant future, we have been trying to figure out what to name our baby. What we learned is that we like simple, traditional names that aren't too terribly common. Unfortunately, the majority of our aunts, uncles, and cousins feel the same way and have used some of our favorite names. We discussed millions of possibilities. Basically, I thought of names with potential and Luke vetoed most of them.

We finally settled on the middle name for each. Allyn for a boy {a combination of my dad and Luke's dad} and Elizabeth for a girl.

I debated for a long time on the middle name for a little girl. At first, I thought Faith. Then Joy. And like any other woman, I changed my mind again because if we were going to have a little girl, I wanted her to have my middle name. I felt bad because the other 2 choices seemed to have so much more significance to the season of life our family has been in lately. Not to mention that they are character traits we pray for both of our children. The good news was that I could still change my mind, but in the meantime, I decided to research what the meaning of the name "Elizabeth" was. I've always known what my first and last name meant but not my middle name. There's nothing like having a baby to get you all fired up about the meaning of a name.

If you're familiar with the Christmas story, then you've probably heard about Elizabeth, mother of John the Baptist and cousin of Mary. The mother of Jesus. You may know Him. He's kind of a big deal. She was also the woman whose husband questioned an angel name Gabriel...so God hit the mute button. Elizabeth, on the other hand, gave immediate praise to God for the miracle He had done. {Luke 1} I guess I would have too if my prayers consisted of asking God for a baby along with a miracle cure for gray hair.

Once you've read the story, it probably won't surprise you that Elizabeth means "God's promise." Suddenly, that middle name seemed much more fitting.

My life {much like yours, I'm sure} has been filled with God's promises. Yesterday, while going through The Boxes, I realized that so many of those promises have already been fulfilled.

He promised that He would never leave me or forsake me...even if others did. I may not have the same friends I did back in elementary, middle, or high school but I still have Jesus walking right beside me every step of the way.

He promises only the best for me...even if it's different from my version of The Best. Well, gosh, all you have to do is read notes passed back and forth between high school girls just sure their lives were the only ones full of drama and disappointment.

He promised that if I would put Him first, He would grant the desires of my heart... Enter Luke. Best. Promise. Fulfilled. Ever!!

He promised that Austin would be a gift. Second. Best. Promise. Ever!!

I could go on, but I think you get my drift.

Two years ago, I began praying that God would give us a little girl next. I knew my chances were 50/50. Obviously. But Luke is from a family of all boys. My dad is from a family of all boys. My mom has a brother. Luke's dad has 4. Luke's mom has 2.

I think you understand why I chose to believe in the power of prayer.

Praying for a little girl became more of me pouring the desire of my heart out to the Lord, while at the same time believing with total confidence that His will is ALWAYS best...girl or boy! I wish I could explain the feelings that came next but I honestly wouldn't do them justice. Let's just say that whenever I would picture a Keiffer family of four, there was always a little girl in our midst.

Lord! I prayed, Please protect me from wishful thinking! I want to be thrilled no matter what!!

Even still, I continued to feel a connection with this little girl in my mind. I began to feel like I already knew her and loved her as much as Austin.

When we found out I was officially pregnant, God promised me that this baby {timing and everything} would be a blessing and a reward. Our joy that would come in the morning. I felt like God continued to tell me in little unexpected ways that He would grant the desire of my heart.

And still, I had a hard time believing it.

On October 26th we found out that the next little Keiffer would be a girl.

And on December 5th we decided to name her Brooke Elizabeth Keiffer.

Because He promised.

Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!

2 Corinthians 9:15

His miracles are unforgettable...

Psalm 111:4

another letter...

Well. The time has finally come. Little Keiffer #2 is officially on it's way!! We are beyond thrilled!!! We found out so early that at first, I was afraid it wasn't real. Then the morning sickness hit.

It was real. Too real sometimes.

Now we are knee deep in take-out, fatigue, and frequent bathroom breaks. But we are also loving all the preparations and conversations about the next little piece to the Keiffer puzzle. I can't wait to be a family of four. Why not take this chaos to a new level? As long as I've got my best friend by my side...it's all good, right? :)

Please remind me I said this about 2 weeks into that family of four business.

As good and somewhat easy as Austin has been, this next one is bound to be the child that constantly forces us out of our comfort zones and challenges us in ways we never knew possible. But we're ready. Mostly because we have siblings that did the same to our parents and are proof that the wailing and gnashing of teeth is worth it in the end.

There are alot of unknowns right now, but of one thing I am absolutely certain. This baby is already a blessing! This summer has been difficult and full of the unexpected. There were times that we told God we knew He was in control but we sure didn't know exactly what He was doing. Still, He has been faithful and so patient with us. I knew as soon as I saw "Pregnant" instead of "Not Pregnant" that this baby was the "joy that comes in the morning." For as long as I live, I will remember this as the summer God required much of us but in the end gave us much more than we deserved!

And on that note, I'd like to end this post with a letter to our next reward. We can't wait to meet you, sweet baby!

To our next Little One:

You are already in my heart, and when I pray for your brother, I pray for you too. Even now, you are so precious to us. Your Daddy and I talk about the next piece to the puzzle that is our family often. We wonder what you will look like, what your personality will be, and of course, whether you will be a little brother or a little sister for Austin.

Speaking of your big brother, I cannot wait for you to meet him. I have no doubt that he will be the best big brother anyone has ever had. We call him "The Only" right now because he's living the life of an only child. And loving every minute I might add. However, I'm convinced that he doesn't know what he's missing and won't want to go back once he does. I don't know if the two of you will play trucks together or if you'll make him sit and have tea parties with you. But this I do know, he will love you with his whole heart because that is what he does when it comes to family. He loves deeply and without reservation. Something tells me that you may even get an extra dose of this love in the form of protectiveness. When it comes to your relationship with him, I pray that the two of you will form a bond that cannot be broken. I pray for loyalty and a spirit of unity so that long after your Daddy and I are in Heaven, you will still love one another as deeply as we love both of you.

It seems like I think about you more and more these days. Mostly, it's in the quiet of Austin's room as I rock him to sleep. I think about what it will be like to have two little people in our house. I wonder how our lives will change, and what things will stay the same. I tell God alot of things in those moments. I ask Him for a healthy baby and His protection over your life. I tell Him that I would love for you to enjoy just being close to us. In other words, I need a little one that likes to snuggle a little more. Your brother has places to go and things to discover. I love that about him, but it will be nice to have a child that loves to just sit and be with me. But above all, I pray that you will come to love the Lord with all of your heart! Even now, He is forming and creating every little thing about you. He will always know you better and love you more than anyone in this world.

There are so many things we don't know about you quite yet. So many things that require me to walk in faith and trust that God has already recorded every detail of your life long before you even came to be. However, this we DO know: you are our joy that comes in the morning. God has given us you and we are honored to be called your mommy and daddy! We are anxiously awaiting your arrival and cannot WAIT to welcome you into our family!

I love you:
Mommy

in a blink

Well. Once again, I've neglected the blog. There's so much to document since I last wrote and I'm not even going to attempt to do that in one post. Therefore, I've decided to dedicate this entry to a certain little boy who recently turned 3!

Just yesterday, I met you for the first time. It must've been a very touching moment for you since you cried for over an hour.

Just yesterday, you fit perfectly on my chest and could sleep there for hours.

Just yesterday, we were thrilled to witness your first sweet smile.

Just yesterday, we were listening to your laugh for the first time.

Just yesterday, we were discovering what a happy baby you were.

For only a moment, you could wear the cutest onesies.

For only a moment, I could snuggle you close while I fed you your bottle and rocked you to sleep.

For only a moment, you loved your paci. In an effort to keep you happy all through the night, we would line three or four up in your crib. You know, just in case you lost the one in your mouth.

And then, in a blink of an eye, it was your first birthday. We celebrated with family, presents, and cupcakes. What a special day it was!!

Not long ago, you were walking for the first time. Your chubby little legs were adorable as you toddled around the house.

Not long ago, I quit shopping for onesies and started buying big boy clothes.

Before we knew it, your fun personality was revealing itself.

Before we knew it, you were starting to say words.

Before we knew it, you were into all things boy...dirt, cars, and being silly.

And then, we were celebrating your second birthday. This time we had a pool party and invited some special friends.

All of a sudden, your baby face turned into a little boy face.

All of a sudden, you weren't just saying words but complete sentences.

All of a sudden, you took up my whole lap while rocking you at night.

Today, I savor every moment with you because it won't be long before they are few and far between.

Today, I treasure the fact that I am the most important girl in your life. The fact that you told your uncle that I'm your girlfriend melts my heart.

Today, I soak in the sound of your sweet voice as it echoes through our house.

Today, I enjoy your mini concerts as the song in your heart goes straight to your mouth.

Today, tomorrow, and always you are my little boy. No matter how big you are or where you go, a part of me will always be with you. I love you with all my heart!!

life rearranged

On May 22, 2004, I woke up to the sound of my parents playing "Goin' To The Chapel" in celebration of a day we had planned and waited for with great expectation.

My wedding day.

After the hair appointments, pictures, and last minute touch-ups, I began the long walk down a church aisle to my best friend. I will never forget the look on his face when he saw me, or the excitement I felt when we were introduced as Mr. & Mrs. Luke Keiffer for the first time. I thought about how I had never loved him more than on this day. But more importantly, I will never forget the committment we made before God to each other that day. I held his hands while I pledged my love and loyalty in sickness and health, for richer or poorer...for better or worse. Who could imagine on such a happy day that "worse" would come when you least expect it or that God could use the worst in such a mighty way?

On May 22, 2010, I woke up in a hotel on the Riverwalk with the love of my life. Despite my best efforts, Luke was the first to say "Happy Anniversary."

Because he always wins that game.

I had been looking forward to this day for a while. I couldn't wait to catch up and reminicse with my best friend. I did my hair, put on a dress, and took a picture with my husband much like I'd done on our wedding day. We were just as happy then as we were six years earlier. But little did we know that at that very moment, Luke's dad was being flown to a hospital in Dallas after having an accident at his lake house. We got the call as we were leaving the hotel to go out for the day. You know that feeling you get when God is preparing your heart for bad news? Yeah. Me too.

Even though, Luke's mom assurred us there was no reason to drive up yet, I felt like the Lord was telling me we needed to go. Austin was with my parents for the weekend and our bags were already packed. Clearly, He had gone before us and worked out every detail. We threw some extra clothes in a duffel bag along with an unopened bag of mustard pretzels.

Because these are the crazy things I do when there's a crisis. Let's just say I know my southern roots run deep when I'm thinking about the possibility of people needing food while at the hospital.

Hey! Don't judge. Mashed potatoes and fried okra would not have traveled well.

So there we were, driving up to Dallas without a clue as to what we would find once we got there. With each phone call we realized that things were much worse than we originally thought they would be. At this point, I had completely forgotten that it was our anniversary. It seemed like weeks instead of hours since we had discussed our gameplan for the big six year celebration. All that mattered was that my husband needed me and the Keiffer family needed us.

For the rest of the night and most of the next day, we sat with many of those that had celebrated our marriage with us. In a matter of a few minutes, our lives were rearranged. All of our plans and the things we thought we would be doing were not what God had planned.

May 22, 2010, marked the day that I began a long walk through a "worse" with my best friend. I will never forget the tears we cried as we prayed together and begged God for His mercy and grace. I will never forget the way he told me with complete confidence that he trusted God with his father's life and the lives of those he loved most. I thought about how I had truly, never loved him more than at that moment. I held his hands as I told him how proud I was of him and how honored I was to walk this road with him. But more importantly, I will never forget how God showed up in the midst of a great trial.

These last few weeks, the Keiffers have logged many hours at the hospital and even more on our knees. We have witnessed miracles and seen the hand of God in every detail of this situation. Let me say it again. You know, just to be clear.

We have witnessed miracles. We have seen the hand of God in every detail of this situation.

Our new normal has given me eyes to see the eternal works God is doing. The hospital is not just a place where we spend time with someone we love most. It's our own personal mission field. Those that ask us how things are going are another opportunity to give God glory for great things. 2 Corinthians 4:1-11 says it best:


1-2Since God has so generously let us in on what he is doing, we're not about to throw up our hands and walk off the job just because we run into occasional hard times. We refuse to wear masks and play games. We don't maneuver and manipulate behind the scenes. And we don't twist God's Word to suit ourselves. Rather, we keep everything we do and say out in the open, the whole truth on display, so that those who want to can see and judge for themselves in the presence of God.



3-4If our Message is obscure to anyone, it's not because we're holding back in any way. No, it's because these other people are looking or going the wrong way and refuse to give it serious attention. All they have eyes for is the fashionable god of darkness. They think he can give them what they want, and that they won't have to bother believing a Truth they can't see. They're stone-blind to the dayspring brightness of the Message that shines with Christ, who gives us the best picture of God we'll ever get.


5-6Remember, our Message is not about ourselves; we're proclaiming Jesus Christ, the Master. All we are is messengers, errand runners from Jesus for you. It started when God said, "Light up the darkness!" and our lives filled up with light as we saw and understood God in the face of Christ, all bright and beautiful.


7-12If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That's to prevent anyone from confusing God's incomparable power with us. As it is, there's not much chance of that. You know for yourselves that we're not much to look at. We've been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we're not demoralized; we're not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we've been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn't left our side; we've been thrown down, but we haven't broken. What they did to Jesus, they do to us—trial and torture, mockery and murder; what Jesus did among them, he does in us—he lives! Our lives are at constant risk for Jesus' sake, which makes Jesus' life all the more evident in us. While we're going through the worst, you're getting in on the best!
{The Message}

When this first happend, I wondered if our future anniversary celebrations would ever be the same. And now I would say that I pray they would not. I pray that we will never forget the anniversary gifts God gave us on May 22, 2010. He gave us the gift of more time with someone we love very deeply. He gave us the support of family and moments of laughter during a time filled with tears. Above all, He gave us a front row seat to his awesome power. A chance to witness first hand why He is called the Great Physician.

I love that we started the sixth year of our marriage being the hands and feet of Jesus to two people we love. What a blessing it has been to praise the Lord together for the eternal work He is doing in our lives and the lives of those impacted by this situation. It has been a privilege to serve others alongside my husband as we seek to glorify God in our words and deeds.

Six years ago, I didn't just pledge my love and loyalty. I promised to do life with Benjamin Luke Keiffer. For better or worse.

And I pray that when we go through the worst, someone would get in on the best.


Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.
Proverbs 19:21

the best 6...no wait...10 years of my life!

This weekend Luke and I will celebrate our SIX year anniversary!! But wait. There's more! We've been an official couple for TEN YEARS!! I honestly can't believe it. To think that there was a day, way back when, that I thought I would never meet The One let alone marry him, blows my mind when I look at where God has placed me today. Nevertheless, here I am. Married to my best friend and soul mate. I'm so thankful God always goes above and beyond our wildest dreams!!

Six years ago this week, wedding preparation was in full swing. Friends and family were on their way to Texas, and I wasn't a bit nervous. Yet.

Six years ago this week, I was about to begin my journey as a wife to the most wonderful man. Ever. So in honor of this week, I'm dedicating my blog entries to Luke and the One that brought us together. Here's to my Heavenly Father and my earthly hero. You two sure do know how to keep me in line! I love every minute almost as much as I love being called "yours."

I'll end this entry with one of my favorite reminders of what being a wife is all about. I have no idea who wrote it but I found it among my most treasured things.  

When I created the heavens and the Earth, I spoke them into being. When I created man, I formed him and breathed life into his nostrils. But you, woman, I fashioned. I breathed the breath of life into man because your nostrils are too delicate. I allowed a deep sleep to come over him so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you. Man was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with the creativity of Me. From one bone I fashioned you. I chose the bone that protects the man's life. I chose the strong yet delicate rib which protects his heart and lungs and supports him, as you are meant to do. Your characteristics are as the rib, strenth yet delicate and fragile. You provide protection for the most delicate organs in man, his heart and lungs. His heart is the center of his whole being; his lungs hold the breath of life. The rib cage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to his heart and lungs. Support him as the rib cage supports the body. Around this one bone I fashioned you. I shaped you; I created you perfect. Your eyes, don't change them; your lips, how lovely when they part in prayer; your nose, so perfect in form; your hands, so gentle to touch. Oh yes, I've touched your hands, I've held your heart. Of all that lives and breathes, you are the most like me. That is why I made you the mother of life. You see, you, woman, reside in Me. Adam walked with Me in the cool of the day and yet he was lonely. He could not see Me or touch Me. He could only feel Me. So everything I wanted Adam to share and experience with Me, I fashioned in you. My holiness, My strength, My purity, My love, My support, and My protection. You are special because you are the extension of Me. Man represents My image, woman My emotions. Together you represent the totality of God.

So man, treat woman well. Love her; respect her for she is fragile. In hurting her, you hurt Me. What you do to her, you do to ME. In crushing her, you only damage your own heart and lungs. Woman, support man as the rib cage. In humility show him the power of emotion I have given to you. In gentle quietness, show your strength. In love, show him that you are the rib that protects his inner self.

The Man said,

"Finally! Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh!

Name her Woman for she was made from Man."

Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh.

Genesis 2:23-25

{The Message}

Now that is a good word!